What the Italian Dolomites taught me about anxiety

Kristen Letchworth
Aug 1
3 min read

Before a big trip we sometimes hope the time away will change us in some manner. And then once we return, we're immediately thrust back into real life and business as usual. So as to not fall into that trap, I wanted to reflect on how I feel after returning from a hut-to-hut trek in the Dolomite Mountains.

Part 1: The Drive

I've had periods of anxiety throughout my life. And recently I had been experiencing it a lot. I was feeling stuck, like I was in this liminal space and couldn’t drive anything forward. This anxiety I was feeling in my life was manifesting through highway driving. Not when I was in the driver's seat, because I had control, but when I was the passenger.

I didn't feel like I had power in my internal world (a core need), so I found outside things to control. I could tell other people how to drive to calm my worrying: "they're stopping up there", "could you slow down a bit", etc.

After arriving in Italy, I took a 3 hour bus ride from Venice to Cortina. Normally just over 2 hours, it was made even longer due to road closures. And I had the bus driver from my own personal hell. He would whip the bus around the tight mountain corners, honking to let others know he was coming. And I couldn't do anything. Accepting my lack of control, I put in my headphones, hit play on a Taylor Swift album, and closed my eyes.

Cortina D'Ampezzo, our home base before and after the trek

Part 2: The Hike

I felt that lack of control while hiking as well. While I was aware of the destination point for each day, I didn't know and couldn't control the terrain, the intensity, the conditions, or any unforeseen obstacles.

I got to the point where I actually preferred not knowing because I knew I would handle whatever came my way. Although there were some hard moments, I thoroughly enjoyed myself.

On the hike I experienced grueling ascents, harsh descents, WW1 tunnels, rock scrambles, narrow paths while holding on to a steel cable, a cow blocking my path (after chasing the person in front of me), rain, muddy shoes and slippery rocks, blisters, sore muscles, many slips, one fall, and a nice bruise on my hip to show for it.

I also experienced loads of sunshine, beautiful weather, rolling hills, stunning views, adrenaline rushes, moments of true accomplishment, delicious meals, daily desserts, a sense of community, and lots of laughter.

Lessons Learned

What I learned on the trip parallels life:

It's okay to not know.

I can trust in my abilities.

I can have power within my world without grasping to control it.

There can be fun and laughter and lightness while doing hard things.

So am I "changed" from my trip? Yes and no. The anxiety doesn't seem to have the same hold on me since I've been back. It's a subtle change, but it's there.

Maybe it's just all the physical activity and fresh mountain air. Or maybe it's something more lasting.

Either way, this trip serves as a reminder for me to stay focused on what's in front of me. I know I feel better when I concentrate on what's next, on what I can do, and on what will actually make a meaningful difference in my life.